Elves

 

 The Victim

I recently sent a letter of apology, a check, some brownies, and a photo of Ivan to a library in a neighboring community. A book I requested from that library suffered grievous injury when it was set upon by elves and possibly other unknown ruffians. Eric, who operates on a rational, logical plane, said Ivan was the most likely culprit. I smile at that sweet innocent face and know logic has nothing to do with it. How can you look at that adorable face and suggest such a thing? I’m sure Ivan is not guilty, but we could hardly blame him if he had chewed the book. It has a photo of food on the front of the book jacket; this is practically entrapment.

 

 I’m pretty sure it was elves. Elves are held responsible for not a few incidents at our house, and with good reason as they’re always trying to set up the Munchkins to take the blame for some mischief they’ve caused.

 

Dasa has occasionally been found at the scene where a cardboard box has been chewed, and sometimes even has a bit of cardboard sticking out of her mouth as she finishes chewing. This is all circumstantial evidence, and I certainly don’t think it proves anything, except how cute she is, wagging her tail when she sees me. And really, it’s just a box, the contents are seldom damaged. So it was ready to be  mailed or contained neatly sorted items for the thrift shop? It isn’t her fault the elves choose inconvenient targets for their naughtiness.

We received a return letter from the neighboring library, agreeing that elves can be sneaky at times, and absolving Ivan of all guilt. They also said they loved Ivan’s photo, so they certainly won points for recognizing that he’s innocent and gorgeous. Those elves, however, get no quarter from us.